Thursday, May 14, 2009

Leading of God

the emotions of life have carried me in many directions. but i know that God has his people where He needs them for a reason. It is by Faith that Abraham was lead out of his comfort on many occasions. And it was by faith that the righteous will be saved even before the ten commandments were given to acknowldege what lawlessness was.  So now I am here in Wonju, South Korea in faith. Days go by when all i can seem to acknowledge is the devil cowering over me screaming to me that i am failing in my mission. That my students are only there for english and that I am not upholding the christian name of the school. That I am not doing my best. That nothing i am doing will return fruits for God's Kingdom.... i will continue this thought in a moment.

When I moved home from College, I hit a large low in my life. i was removed from all of my social surroundings. Removed from the ability of filling the God shaped hole with my friends. I had to fill it with some thing. I was with my family but there was an aspect of my life that had disappeared and i didn't know what to fill it with. it was not that I had lost an aspect, but it was that God was revealing to me that I had been trying for several years to fill that void with somehting other than what He wanted me to fill it with. So i began a stronger walk with the help of several new friends. And that gave me a spiritual boost to carry on over the past severalmonths. 

An interesting and loving thing that I have noticed about God is that he is Kind and gentle and does things with a purpose. I am in the middle of 'no where' wonju s. korea. which is great cause i want to learn about myself and life and not fill myself with the busy aspects of this world. God does not try to change us all at once it takes time to mold clay (all though he may choose to start over on many occasions due to our stubornness).  God pealed away my friends from college, but allowed me to fill the void with other earthly things.  

Now again as time rolls on I feel him peeling other aspects about my life away to make me a stronger crusader in his ARMY. There is almost no one to hang out with here in wonju, (not only in the aspect of WOMEN, but also to buddy buddy with.) I am being forced to rely solely on Christ as a chumming buddy, or someone to hang with. Now i guess this is somewhat how the prophets (elijah and others) may have felt when they were standing on the 'promises' of God trying to tell the people there lives are a bit off course. Don't get me wrong, i am not here all alone but there is a difference in fighting a battle when you know your buddy is got your back, and when you have to constantly look around for someone to trust. (The people are trust worthy) It's just different, I guess. 

Now back to the top. Now I remember someone telling me that if you did not sense the Devil pressuring you in such a way then you weren't working hard enough or your faith was to weak for the devil to care about you. This may not be the case. Maybe some people are just ignoring the still small voice and accepting defeat. But the race is long and it will tough.
I know that the Devil is pressuring me every class period, attempting to keep me unprepared, trying to get me to live in a 'lonely' environment. To have a pitty party "oh you are all alone". But What is really happening is that Christ has gently peeled away my close circle of friends to allow my self to look to Him more and less to myself and others. To stop looking for the approval of others, and to look up for my approval. I am here for another... um along time... LOL. I must remember to keep the prayers going and the scipture rolling.  Please Remember me in your prayers. Escpecially in your morning devotions. My night class is my most difficult class, but I believe it will be my most rewarding. I miss you all dearly! 

Peace. 

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