Why? is the question that every 2-4 year old asks anyone who will answer them. This is how I feel when I think of why God put me in a small non english speaking town of Wonju. Why am I here? Why could I not be put in Seoul where all my friends are. Where english is more prominent... Why am I stuck in a quiet town? And as I think back to what I have done in the past several weeks I begin to understand the role He has played. And why I am here. I admit I do not know the full reason. And today was a hard day... Why am I here feeling like I am so alone? In the past several weeks there has been drama at my school... (to give some background). There are 3 teachers, Me the coordinator and another. The other 2 guys are leaving in about 3 weeks to go home. I will prob get 2 new teachers, and be the head guy. Well about 3 weeks ago the other 'normal' teacher (non coordinator) made the choice to go to seoul and not come back until monday morning after he had class... putting the admin in a tight spot. Some have the mentality of I'm leaving I couldnt get let go this late in the game... he's mentally checked out the first 2 months he was here... that was dec of last year. well anyway... So the guys i am living with are not focusing on the here and now which makes it difficult for me not to think of home and what is going on. So I have a difficult time staying focused with people all around me discussing 'going home'.
Why am I here? its a poster i have posted against my wall. To focus my attention on the main goals of why I am here. to be a missionary for christ. Who are you serving? What is your god, what consumes the most time in your life? Who should be my role model to impress? These are all questions we should all strive to answer daily. Sometimes its just difficult. Mentally I have started a list of things that I want to do when i get home. And yes taco bell and olive garden are at the top... los cebollas... :) But i must remmeber why I am here... so that we can all go home. To sacrifice time out of my life to help someone else get the direction to our true home... This is a random post... please continue to pray.
2 comments:
Hang in there, though I can't say I have been without my family. But it seems that when ever I get Comfortable with the environment, God has a way of mixing things up. But as you well know it is so very rewarding to see people ask questions about our faith, and whats this about going to church on the Sabbath ? How rewarding to see someone come to believe in the Sabbath and what the Bible teaches Gods Children!
Your Bro!
Chris! Interesting to see your point of view of things. (don't worry I'm far from bitter) But for the record that's not exactly how it went down (that whole getting back late from Seoul thing) but I digress. My point in writing a response isn't to "clear" my name but hopefully as an encouragement to you, especially now. I told you guys what was going on in my personal life only probably 20% of the time. From about just before you came until I left I had a LOT of external pressures back home, and there in Korea, including my dad being closer to death then I realized. ANYWAY, I tried to deal with it on my own instead of just going to God. Trying to deal with it my self with so much going on CLEARLY I couldn't focus the way I needed to. My point is this. Deal with it differently!! Make sure you take EVERYTHING to God and leave it at his feet. It took me going home to realize that God had everything under control and in retrospect, I was stressing and worrying for nothing because God had it! Had I know that I suppose I could have not worried and focused more. Too late for me but not for you. You're in a similar position I was in back in December (and on this side of June 5...) You're doing a smart thing though and getting out. I stayed b/c of the relationship I was trying to build with the Koreans. I guess It worked. I'm SO HAPPY to See Angela and Sofi studying with you. I know it's been hard, but from what I've heard you've been doing well. Keep your head up. AND KEEP ALL YOUR PROBLEMS BEFORE GOD!!!! Trust me on that. I still keep Wonju in my prayers, and you as well. If you need anything let me know what I can do. Miss ya buddy!
Ricky.
Oh and for the record, I can honestly say that I did everything humanly in my power (including praying) to make it back to Wonju in time instead of early the next day. :) I can in good faith stand by my efforts and actions.
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